


Saturday Nights at Starkiller Base

by LavenderMidori



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Drinking, Drinking and Drug references, Drunk Hux, Drunk Kylo Ren, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Matt the radar technician - Freeform, Ridiculous, accidental consumption of spice, can’t you two just get along?, drunken antics, stormtrooper party, work party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25274899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderMidori/pseuds/LavenderMidori
Summary: Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux are tasked with their most impossible mission yet: boosting stormtrooper morale. Will they overcome their differences to throw one epic party?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Saturday Nights at Starkiller Base

**Author's Note:**

> This is ridiculousness. It’s a one-shot. I needed to write something fun and well, this is it. Inspired by a manip that someone posted on tumblr of Adam Driver and Domnhall Gleeson clubbing. Enjoy.

**Saturday Nights at Starkiller Base**

The quick tapping of Armitage Hux’s supremely shined shoes announced his arrival and Kylo Ren’s hand curled into a fist reflexively. He hated Hux.  
“Lord Ren,” Hux began, his voice one of forced authority. “Supreme Leader Snoke has requested our presence at a... function this evening. For the troops.”  
His mask hid the surprised expression that passed across Kylo’s face at these words.  
“A function?” he repeated.  
Armitage nodded. “Yes, sir, a function. For the troops. There have been murmurs of,” he lowered his voice for his next words, “dissent among our forces, sir. I believe he wishes us to host an event to raise morale amongst them.”  
The mask could not hide the chuckle that escaped Kylo at these words. “Armitage, are you telling me that the Supreme Leader has ordered us to throw a party for our underlings?”  
“It would appear so, my Lord.” Hux replied.  
Kylo turned on his heel abruptly and swept out of the room, his cloak pulling the air from the room with him.

“What is the meaning of this?” Kylo Ren demanded at a hologram projection of his master.  
Supreme Leader Snoke looked down on his charge with a sneer upon his face. “You dare question my orders, boy?”  
Kylo huffed his discontent. “Yes, Supreme Leader, when it takes both General Hux and myself away from more important work.”  
“What work is more important than ensuring the loyalty of your forces?” Snoke replied, his scarred face contorting in what must have been a gleeful expression.  
“With all due respect, Supreme Leader, I believe that this will be a waste of resources. These troopers have been raised from childhood to serve at our command. I hardly think that a few dissenting whispers will amount to much in the way of disloyalty.” Ren huffed.  
“Watch your words, Ren. If you wish to live to serve me another day, you will join Hux in the command center to begin preparing and I will not hear another complaint about a direct order. Do I make myself clear?” Snoke’s eyes narrowed at the last part and Kylo could feel the seriousness of the situation.  
“Yes, my Lord. I will see to it,” he replied through the mechanical voice box of his helmet.  
It was moments like these when Kylo realized that he might have sounded like a petulant child were it not for the vocoder built into his mask. He prided himself on being hard to rattle, but both Hux and Snoke knew that there were backdoors into his mind where he could be shaken.

Kylo’s boots stomped their pattern into the shined floors of Starkiller Base as he navigated the way to the command center. He found Hux waiting for him, his usual shit-eating grin plastered on his smug face. He wondered then how much trouble he might get in with Snoke if he were to punch Hux during the planning of this “event.”  
“Ah, glad you decided to see fit to swallow your pride and join me, Kylo.” Hux greeted in that insufferable voice of his. “Now, if you don’t mind, we have a party to plan”

Hours later the two leaders stood in the mess hall. The tables had been rearranged hastily by a team of droids. A bar had been set up - this was the one idea that they had agreed upon in the entire time that they had known each other. Their goal, as Snoke had told them, was to root out any insubordination amongst their army - getting them a little tipsy might help loosen them up. The room was decorated with various First Order propaganda and pin up holos. The First Order was more inclined to inclusivity than their Imperial predecessors, so beings of all species and genders were represented. Hux had questioned that decision, as their troops were still completely composed of humans. Ren had sneered at him from behind his mask and criticized his judgement of “what other people might be into.”  
“Well, it looks like a place where people would gather and be social. Droids will be serving drinks and hor’d’ouevres, my speech is written, and you'll be making an appearance I hope?” Hux drawled on.  
“About that,” Kylo began, releasing the clasp from his helmet. “The troopers haven’t seen my face before. What if I were to join them and mingle? Ask them questions to find out more about their feelings about the First Order and our mission? They’re not going to speak freely if I’m walking around in this thing.”  
“I want to say no because I should not like to agree with you twice in one day, but that is an excellent idea, Ren. They know my face and I’m sure they’re hardly going to tell me what they think.” Hux replied. “I say yes. We shall make an address and then you will disappear to leave them to their merriment. Return again as.... What shall your name be?”  
“Uh, KR-155?” he mumbled. “Kriss, if they want to give me a nickname.”  
Hux stared unblinkingly at Kylo. “You haven’t thought about that at all prior to my suggestion, have you?”  
As soon as the words had left his mouth, Hux could feel his airways begin to tighten and then release.  
“Careful, Hux. I won’t hesitate to crush your windpipe the next time you start spouting off loads of hot air.” Ren replied.  
Armitage nodded, a small strand of his ginger hair swiping across his face as he did so. “Yes, my Lord. Won’t happen again.”

Stormtroopers were rarely seen on Starkiller Base - or anywhere, for that matter - out of their armor. They had been surprised to receive the invitation from General Hux and Kylo Ren informing them that their normal mess time would be replaced with a social gathering preceded by an address by First Order leadership. In First Order speech, that sounded like a party to most of them. Most of them owned nothing but their armor and training gear, but there were some “civies” and formal wear to be found among the junior officers. There was not a white bucket in sight when those invited arrived to the social gathering preceded by an address by First Order leadership.  
Kylo Ren stood on a raised platform at the front of the room, flanked by Hux and Captain Phasma. Her chrome plated armor was the only vestige of the stormtroopers to appear that evening.  
“Welcome,” Kylo Ren began from behind his vocoder once more. “General Hux and I would like to thank you for joining us here this evening. We know that the First Order has its officers and troopers to thank for our recent victories throughout the galaxy. General Hux, if you would.”  
Hux stepped forward, glaring from the side of his eyes as Kylo Ren cut his speech short. “Yes, as Lord Ren was saying before he relinquished the spotlight, welcome. You are the heart of the First Order. Tonight we would like to thank you for working tirelessly these last few years to turn this base, this weapon, which has always been a dream of mine, into a reality. Please, eat, drink, and mingle. You all deserve the recognition.”  
Before Hux had finished speaking, Kylo Ren had whisked away from the dais, not to be seen again for the rest of the evening. In his place, a man of considerable height arrived fashionably late in some very sharp formal wear. The man, who introduced himself as KR-155, wore a black suit jacket over a deep red shirt. His black slacks were tight on his legs - he hadn’t realized how much muscle he had developed over his years of training. He wore a thin black tie and completed the look with a pair of dark glasses.  
Hux raised an eyebrow as he was approached by the late arrival.  
“You think that is “fitting in?” he asked in disbelief.  
“Completely. They don’t know my face, so what else does it matter?” Kylo replied quietly, careful not to be overheard.  
“Awesome,” Hux laughed. “Wow. This is going to be... interesting. Well, go mingle.”

KR-155 began bringing drinks to partygoers as he danced along to some of the music that was being pumped into the room. Hux’s administrative assistant was a young woman who had only recently joined the organization and knew what sort of music would be popular among her peers. She had been an invaluable asset in planning out the actual details of what would make the event “successful” for the attendees.  
“You having fun?” He asked the group that he had joined as they all downed shots of Corellian Whiskey.  
“We’re drinking on the First Order’s tab,” one of the men replied. “Hell yeah, we’re having fun! Whooooooo!”  
“But like, all around, having fun. Like, do you like what we do? Is this where you want to be?” KR-155 pressed.  
“Hey man, are you a fucking mole for the brass, because, dude, I just want to drink, dance, maybe meet a girl now that I can see what they look like under the buckets... I don’t want to talk shop and I really don’t want to talk shop if it’s going to go back up to the top.” the man pointed to the ceiling with his last word.  
“Nah, definitely not, man, just wanting to know what other people thought.” KR-155 replied, waving off the idea of being an informant.  
“Kriss,” a woman whined from behind him. “Kriss, you have to meet my friend. This is JN-4322.”  
“Jaina,” she replied. “Most of my friends call me Jaina. JN-4 looks like JNA, I guess. Tizzy, TZ, wants you to come back to the bar with us.” she told him, a small smile at the corner of her lips.  
“Uh, sure, let’s go!” he replied. As he made his way back to the bar with the women, he grabbed Hux by the shoulder.  
Hux had been mingling between the groups and was alienating anyone he crossed. No one wanted to be seen talking to their commanding officer at a social gathering.  
“Where are we going?” Hux demanded as he was yanked away from the group of stormtroopers that he had tried to infiltrate.  
“We need to fit in. Here.” Kylo said, handing Hux a small glass vial of liquid. “Drink it.”  
The men downed their drinks and a few others in the company of Jaina and Tizzy. Tizzy was of a small stature with curly red locks that fell past her shoulders. She and Hux seemed to be the only two gingers in the room and Kylo - KR-155 - was determined to decide who between them had the paler skin.  
“I’m from Corellia,” Jaina said, after her third or fourth shot of whiskey. “That’s why I can hold my Corellian whiskey. It’s in my BLOOD.”  
Her eyes were wide as she told Kylo this fact. He strongly doubted whether she knew that she was actually from Corellia or if it was just a story she told when she was drinking. He also doubted very much that she could hold any kind of liquor.  
“Oh my stars, I love this song,” Tizzy squealed to Hux. “There’s this like droid DJ out in the outer rim - DJ Rex. His music is just like the best. You have to dance with me! Come on!”  
The woman led Hux out onto the dance floor. He had never danced before, let alone danced with a partner. The music thumped and Armitage very awkwardly moved along to it's beat, following Tizzy’s lead.  
Drinking has greatly improved my dancing ability, he thought to himself as she giggled at him.  
To the side, Jaina had meekly asked Kriss to join her while they danced and laughed at their friends. He obliged.  
“So like, do you do this a lot? Drink and dance and stuff?” He asked.  
She laughed. “Not really. I mean, I’ve been in the First Order since before I could remember, so I don’t know what it’s like outside of this. This is the first time we’ve ever done anything like this. It’s so much fun. I don’t know what got into Huggs and Ren to let us actually have fun for once.”  
“I’m sorry did you just call him Huggs?” He asked.  
She snorted. “Um yeah. I mean, I’ll follow his orders and all but that guy is kriffing awkward. There’s a few other ones, but that’s the one that’s the least offensive, so it’s what’s stuck. We don’t want to get caught bad mouthing the boss, ya know?”  
He laughed. “Yeah, no I get it. What about Kylo Ren? Any nicknames for him? He’s kind of ridiculous too, right?”  
“I’m not touching that with a 12 parsecs pole, my friend.” Jaina joked. “He’s kind of scary, but I imagine he might be kind of cute under the mask.”  
Kriss shrugged. “Yeah, he might not be so bad.”  
Tizzy interrupted. “Hey guys, more drinks?”  
“Yes!” They both replied.

More drinks were poured and consumed as the evening wore on.  
“It’s hot in here, right?” Kriss shouted over the music to Hux. “I’m burning up in this jacket.”  
He shed his jacket on the dance floor, rolling up his sleeves. Neither Kylo nor Hux was sure how long they’d been dancing. Jaina and Tizzy and long since left the party and somewhere in the back of his mind, Kylo wondered how late it was.  
The crowd was starting to thin out and they’d still yet to find any viable information from the partygoers. Had this all been for nothing?  
“Ky-riss!” Hux shouted over the noise. “We need to keep dancing. I’ve never had this much fun in my entire life!”  
His voice was raspy from screaming. The songs were starting to repeat and he had been learning the words to yell along as the night progressed. At first, Armitage worried about what might be said about him following the evening, but after more and more drinks, he had decided that he didn’t particularly care.  
“Hey, Hux,” yelled a stocky man. “Break it down!”  
“I will, my friend - I will break it ALL the way down!” He replied.  
Kylo wasn’t sure what Hux was trying to accomplish with his dance moves, but it looked like he managed to pull something as he hit the floor with a resounding thud.  
“Up you get,” he said, being the voice of reason, as he pulled Hux to his feet.  
Hux grabbed Kylo’s forearms. “This is fun. We’re having fun.”  
He nodded fervently. “Uh huh. But you, I think, are a little too inebriated to keep having fun.”  
Hux shook his head. “No, no, I’m not too drunk - you’re too sober.”  
Before he knew it, both of them had returned to the bar and had begun taking shots of something called Jet Juice. It was vile and brightly colored and burned all the way down, but neither seemed to care.  
The music continued to fill the air even as more and more of the First Order’s finest filed out to get rest before their next duty days.  
“If we stop dancing,” Kylo yelled at Hux over the music. “Do you think we’ll just fall down?”  
“Yes! YES! Exactly! We need to keep moving.” Armitage shouted. “I”m beginning to think that the cookie that that one lieutenant shared with me might have actually been spice. It couldn’t have been, could it? Whatever. Just. Keep. Dancing.”

Neither was sure how much time had passed. Somehow they’d both made it back to their quarters, but Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren were both awoken by the same shrill alarm. It was Snoke.  
Both men dressed quickly and made their way to the chamber where Snoke addressed them. His holo was enormous, his waxy skin a sparkling blue through the comms.  
“Would either of you care to explain this?” Snoke seethed.  
An image appeared before the men. It was them from the previous evening, arms raised, dancing. Kylo was wearing sunglasses. The Supreme Leader showed them a string of holoscans depicting Kylo and Hux in various states of inebriation; dancing, playing Sabaac, becoming friendly with those in their company. Hux’s face instantly flashed red.  
“Well, Supreme Leader,” Kylo began, thankful again for his vocoder. “We thought it pertinent to blend in and get to know the attendees to earn their trust.”  
“Then why, prey tell, did I receive a communique telling me that Kylo Ren and General Hux were seen fraternizing with stormtroopers?”  
Another image followed. They were dancing with Tizzy and Jaina.  
“We were fitting in, Supreme Leader.” Hux replied. “Those women gave us much information about the morale of them and their comrades, sir.”  
“You two are the most incapable beings I have ever commanded.” He moaned, covering his face with one of his massive, gnarled hands.  
“We felt that the social gathering was a great success, Master,” Kylo dared to continue. “I will excuse myself from any further gatherings. From what I gathered, it was a boost to troop morale, sir. They seemed to be having... fun.”  
“And Supreme Leader, if I may,” Hux chimed in. “If either of us has a positive screening for spice following this event, I shall do my best to name the officers responsible for providing it.”  
Hux felt a sudden kick to his shin and felt the air rush out of him.  
“No need to resort to such petty violence,” Snoke tutted. “You are both clearly in the wrong in this... situation. I had my doubts about whether or not you could handle such a task. Your behavior last night has told me all that I need to know.”  
He spoke those words with tendrils of the Force wrapped around both men’s air supplies. He let them go and they fell back to the ground.  
“If I should ever hear of such an astounding disappointment from either of you again it shall be your lives,” snarled Snoke. “Now, dismissed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tizzy is totally Tilly from Star Trek Discovery, btw, in case you needed a visual. Hope you had fun!


End file.
